Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops