Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Penis.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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LOLLLLLL! Lakers? making me laugh so hard! LMAO

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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There was a black person running down my street. He was celebrating because he just graduated from Harvard University.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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