Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock knock come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops