What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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Why did the boy drop his vannlai ice cream?because Vannlia ice came.

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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What do you call a man with no penis? WOahMan! O_o

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Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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what is the difference between a dead baby in a bag and a dead baby hung in the yard....the dead baby hung in the yard was shot down off the cross after being rmr'd

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

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poop nuff said

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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