- Anti Joke

Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

make me a sandwich! what kind?

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

A sociopath and his neighbors dog. He got one of those huge dogs the other day, and it took a crap on my lawn, so I put up a wanted poster 50000 dollars Wanted Dead Or Alive, and that dog smells and bites... It did not work, so I took my neighbor out hunting, I shot his dog, "Said sorry I thought it was a moose" He replied "did you have to shoot at him 15 times?" "I replied, I am out of ammo, but if you can borrow me some I can land a few extra..." Asshole got another dog, so we went out duck hunting, he asked me why I brought a hand grenade... "Land ducks, dog shaped non flying land ducks" Also I stole his office nametag and got naked and sat on a random office at his workplace and jacked off to porn, his boss showed up and said "Mr. Asswhipe, just because this is your office you are not allowed to get naked and uh... Watch... Uh private stuff here okay? I smirked and said "Dont worry Boss, its not my office!" I used glue to glue his nametag to my chest okay? He got yet another dog, I shot my neighbor, his dog starved to death, his wife was mourning and bought two dogs to comfort her. Thats okay, I just picked up both chiguguas at once and broke their neck in a single stroke, then I set fire to her house... The wind spread it on to mine... Fuck... I shot her and took her place, its the same as mine basically, just that there is a dead bitch I can fuck... I mean the woman, you think I am pervert or something? Besides you know... They are chiguguas, I mean i tried its... Its just not... You know... HEY RELAX THEY WHERE BOTH FEMALE OKAY? AND NO NOTHING FIT ANYWHERE SO I HAD TO CUT THEM OPEN AND... Moral of the story: Do not shoot the dog! Poor innocent animal! shot the owner, and then the poor innocent animal! NeroMetal, not the fucker that stole my moral system and name to make this site into some fucking cult thing... I do not cult, I you know... Kids... Dogs... Women... (I love them you fucking sicko) I give them candy (candy being my cock yeah you fellow sicko)

Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

the WNBA.

Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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