Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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A hooker walks into a hospital. Only to find out that she has aids.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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