One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To pick up the remains of the thousands of his friends that lost their lives to this joke.

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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Yo mama so fat when she went to the ocean the whales started to sing we are family even though your fatter than me

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

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Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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