Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

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What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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An Asian man is driving a car. He was on the way to the market to buy dinner for his family

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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why dont they make black forks

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops