Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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call me if you want xxx on 0407777235

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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Lindsay Lohan

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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