Hello penis

How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

Why do fat people commit suicide

Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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