A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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so a man walks into a bar *pint of bud there please

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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