Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

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your mum

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Justin Beiber is a good singer

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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salad days!

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? Its funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small. Also dinosaurs can't even talk!

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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