What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Why did the little boy sit next to the big boy? Because he wanted to get raped by big Jake!

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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whats worse than finding a worm in apple? being chased by retards

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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