- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Billy drop his ice cream?? He got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is yellow and bright? The sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the little boy sad? Because his dog died

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A black man walks into a store and buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops