a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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Whats funny and has 2 wheels The holocaust, I lied about the wheels, and the funny

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, he doesn't let a minor disablity distract him from having a good time.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Knock knock Who's there Evan Evan who Evans erectile area is largo with Sarah plains pudding

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You wanna see something really scary?

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops