A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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