"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down -4

2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

thumb_up thumb_down -4

G:nock nock B:come in!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops