what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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What the person say to the other Person? Hi.

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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women's rights

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What's worse than Gordon Brown's face? George Bush.

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops