What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...