Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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A Black Man Walks Into an Office For A Job Interview. The Meeting Goes Very And He Soon Has A Very Nice Steady Job.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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