Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies

what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

Immigration Laws

Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

Why couldn't the Asian couple have a white baby? Because two Wongs were mixed up in the paperwork so as a result the other Wong family ended up getting the child.

How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

Do you know what's annoying? Steve

What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

What's your blood type? Red.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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