What is the difference between a baby and a tree? Its not illegal to hit one with an axe

How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

Poker? I barely even know her.

What's more funny than an anti-joke? A joke.

This is funny.

how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

Bob Saget that is all

A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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