What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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