A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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What did the man say to the orphan? No one loves you, you have no friends.

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

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What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops