Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

I'm Polish.

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

Q: what's your dog's name ? A: Dog.

Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

What's your guys names?

What did the blond say to the ginger Stop drop and roll your hairs on fire

What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

What's worse than finding an apple in your worm? Lebron traveled

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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