How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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You had better thumbs up this post.

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

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whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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