But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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bar man a walks a into...DYSLEXIA IS NOT FUNNY.

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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