Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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