What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

Nathan likes butt games with African American men

What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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