what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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Yo mamas so fat she is obese

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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