A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The Awkward moment when the world doesn't end

thumb_up thumb_down +12

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

no really what are ur names?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

i had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops