How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

Why are Anti-jokes funny? Coz they are not.

This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

Why did the person write an antijoke? To get to the other side

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

Who got sarah pregnant? No one knows. She was a whore.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

why was kade sad? he shit himself

How do you know you're on a blind date with a black person? If they agree to eat at KFC in Compton (Wyndellberg)

Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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