What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

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autistic kids rock

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roses are red violets are blue me n' friends guna rape you trolololoLOLOLOlololOLLOLOLOLOLLLOLOLOLOLO01010101010111 666

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Q: Why is the sky green? A: It's not

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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WHYS S AFRAID OF B CAUSE OF SBB

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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What happened to the mentaly challenged person is walking down the street? He pooped on the sidewalk and got escorted to his house

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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