Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

its funny cuz i laughed!

What did the lady with Alzheimer's do yesterday She can't remember

why is this joke funny because your laughing

What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

Why did the cat lick the black guy. Because the cat thought it was dirty.

A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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