What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

antonis sister is mighty fine

why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

Robin get in the batmobile!

Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

Good job, son.

Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

~Roses Are Red~ ~Violets Are Blue~ ~I Am Straight~ ~Not Sure About You~ ~Tell us?~

What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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