TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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what's white, sits around all day, and sucks on tits? a baby.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops