What happens if a black person meets a white person? They shake hands

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's rape??

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what is brown and sticky? a stick.

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

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Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn’t have any arms. like your mom

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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Why did the little boy with hepititess die? his mther drove him into the river!

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

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Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

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why do you always see black people smoking? because your neighbors are black and they smoke on their porch,a place you can probably see from your house.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances they had to go home early one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops