What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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Knock knock Go away

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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josh sucks polish adams dick

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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A man walks into a resteraunt and joins his friends. Then he realized he had no friends. ~YN~

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Throughout her entire pregnancy Sheniqua smoked, drank, and did many narcotic drugs such as heroin and cocaine. Why did she lose her baby before coming to term? Because I strangled her to death for being black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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