whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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The GOV and the WHO?

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

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LAST COMMENT? DISGUSTIIIING! NO YOU TAKE IT!

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your a vagina says you, you're a tit

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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