What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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