What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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alert("Hello");

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops