You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops