How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

Q: Whats the difference between a table and a Mexican? A: You tell me.

roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

What did the boy get for christmas? a new lining

how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

Why did the Chicken cross the road? So it would not get hit

Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

Roses are black Violets are black I lost my eyesight at two years old and all I see is black.

What do you call a lubia chin jew slave? Kia

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...