Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Shltskc gw? G

thumb_up thumb_down +26

"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops