How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house Purple because ice cream dosnt have bones

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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I like poop in my butt

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

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A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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