did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

thumb_up thumb_down +28

There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

thumb_up thumb_down +28

interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops