What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops