A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Kameron Brown is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you kill a fox? With a gun. How do you kill a deer? With a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops