What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

thumb_up thumb_down -16

your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

thumb_up thumb_down -16

the nintendo 3ds is being released this week. its the first 3d portable gaming device that doesnt require glasses, also known as a ball...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops