im telling maguire

There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

Many people protest. they go home after a few hours

Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

Q: what's your dog's name ? A: Dog.

A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

I'm Polish.

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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