Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

if got a joke if fogot it

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? I don't know... That action was so barbarous that it freaked me out, and I was no longer in the vicinity of the area. Since I don't have supersonic hearing, I couldn't pick up anything they were saying...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops