What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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Q: Why did the grand mother drop her cane? A: She got pused out a window.

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How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To achieve his goal on the other side of the road. Being a chicken he is not aware of the arm a fast traveling motor vehicle can bring to him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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What is worse then 10 babes nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops