What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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Why were The Beatles so popular? People across the world enjoyed their music.

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Banana soup, Gorilla poop

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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